Ryan Leaf Is Tired Of Being A Punching Bag

Ryan Leaf was golfing last Wednesday afternoon when a message flashed across his phone.

A reporter had received an advanced copy of The Players’ Coach: From Bradshaw to Manning, Brady and Beyond, an autobiography by former Colts offensive coordinator Tom Moore, and within it were anecdotes critical of Leaf’s behavior leading up to the 1998 NFL draft.

The conduct seemed audacious, but then again, the No. 2-overall-pick-turned-mega-bust had acted audaciously plenty of times before.

So the reporter asked: Were these stories accurate, and if not, did he want to push back? 

For years, Leaf declined the opportunity to correct the record, unsure if anyone would believe him. This time, it only took him three minutes to answer in the affirmative.

“F— yes I would like to push back,” Leaf said.

The criticism by Moore was the latest salvo from a group of ex-Colts coaches and executives — Moore, former president Bill Polian, former head coach Jim Mora and former quarterbacks coach Bruce Arians — who made the right choice in taking Peyton Manning over Leaf that year, but have taken turns elevating the story around it.

It makes for an entertaining tale for readers, just not for the man who is the butt of the joke.

“It’s football mythology,” Leaf said. “I’m a mythical figure in the National Football League, a caricature of who I really am, and these old men have continued to perpetuate this lie.”

***

It’s a famous story: the Colts had the first pick in the 1998 draft and had to choose between Manning and Leaf.

They selected Manning, and he went on to become one of the best quarterbacks of all-time. Leaf went No. 2 overall to the Chargers, struggled with on-field performance and off-field issues, and was out of the league by 2002.

Post-retirement, Leaf dealt with drug problems and legal troubles. He went to prison and attempted suicide. He owns it all, finding purpose the past few years by sharing his turbulent story in hopes of helping others.

“I’m a frickin’ faucet,” Leaf said. “Everything is the truth now, whether it makes me look good or not. I’m honest about the good, the bad and the terribly ugly.”

On this date in 1998, Peyton Manning and Ryan Leaf were selected 1st and 2nd, respectively, in the NFL Draft. pic.twitter.com/R1Ztbe2KJw

— ESPN Stats & Info (@ESPNStatsInfo) April 18, 2018

So here’s why Leaf is upset: Moore claims in the book that Mora went up to Leaf after his Pro Day to ask when he’d join the team if the Colts drafted him.

From the book: “A week later, as the rules suggested? (Leaf) said he had planned a trip with some buddies to Las Vegas and he wouldn’t be there. Mora asked about minicamp, and Ryan said he had a scuba trip planned in Cabo.”

After seeing the passages, an indignant Leaf tells me he never spoke with anyone from the Colts at his Pro Day, that the only time he’s been to Cabo was six years after these purported plans, and that he had a spontaneous pit stop in Las Vegas the night of the draft, not a planned vacation that would interfere with his first offseason.

“The Vegas trip the night of the draft was decided in mid-air with (Chargers owner) Mr. (Alex) Spanos,” Leaf said. “I was in San Diego the next day for the press conference. I was at rookie minicamp. The absurdity of me telling a coach that I wouldn’t be at a minicamp to start my professional career because I was scuba diving in Cabo. Are you nuts, man? 

“I loved competing. I loved practice. It was my favorite thing in the world. Hell, I was just at Michigan State throwing 7-on-7 at 48 years old. It’s utterly absurd.”

Leaf knows he’s an easy target. 

He’s had well-documented issues throughout his life and much of the criticism has been deserved. 

But he’s in a good mental space now and willing to defend himself against things he says are blatant lies, no longer wishing to be a punching bag within NFL circles.

“I’ve never spoken up for myself until recently, because I didn’t like who I saw in the mirror, so I didn’t feel comfortable standing up for myself,” Leaf said. “I was like, ‘Oh yeah, I’m a piece of sh–. I don’t have anything to stand up for.’ 

“But being a dad, being a partner, just over the last four years here, I’ve really liked the guy I’ve seen in the mirror, with the scars and judgment and all. Ironically enough, I’m more confident now with all of that baggage and bullsh– than I ever was as a starting NFL quarterback, which is crazy to believe… So if you’re going to blatantly lie just to kick me, I’m going to kick your ass back.”

I’m also a addict in recovery, a felon, a suicide survivor, a father, a husband, a mental health advocate, a NFL analyst, HOF’r, and flawed human being. You’re not just one thing. You are the sum of all life’s parts!! God bless! https://t.co/zZnef59pfB

— Ryan D Leaf (@RyanDLeaf) November 12, 2023

Another passage in Moore’s book talks about how Leaf no-showed his meeting with the Colts at the NFL Scouting Combine.

From the book: “We were told later he was having an MRI, but that doesn’t make any difference. He didn’t come and he didn’t tell us he wasn’t coming.”

Leaf acknowledges he didn’t attend the meeting, but says the delay happened because the Chicago Bears requested an MRI on his thumb at the same time.

“I love the dismissive nature of his point about me not going to the meeting in Indianapolis when I was specifically told by the NFL that medical takes precedent over any meetings,” Leaf said.

Leaf thought he was going to have breakfast with the Colts the next morning, but said Mora lambasted his absence in the media and no meeting was rescheduled.

“Jim Mora blew a gasket the next morning in a press conference and it became this big news,” Lead said. “I was just like, ‘Alright.’”

***

The internet is littered with the Vegas and Combine anecdotes, told and re-told by the Colts’ former coaches and execs.

Polian regurgitated a version of the Vegas story in April of 2023 and Leaf fired back on Twitter, calling it “a huge f—— lie.”

Well this is just a huge fucking lie. Why Bill Polian continues to spew this bullshit narrative is beyond me. Maybe he thinks it makes the story more compelling. Seems pretty compelling already, greatest QB ever, biggest bust ever. Doesn’t need ur shit editorializing Bill! https://t.co/p9keE2Jsma

— Ryan D Leaf (@RyanDLeaf) April 18, 2023

Leaf said Polian called him to apologize and said he would stop saying it.

Arians also wrote some negative things about Leaf in his own book, ‘The Quarterback Whisperer.’ Leaf said he confronted Arians in a bathroom at a 2020 Super Bowl party in Miami.

“I think I scared him,” Leaf said. “I was recently out of prison, about three years out of prison. He zipped up his pants (and left). I think he was frightened. I was big then, and I think he thought I was going to try to slam his head into the urinal or something.”

Even Leaf’s agent, Leigh Steinberg, said in his book that Leaf sabotaged the potential of going No. 1 overall to the Colts so he could play in San Diego for the Chargers.

“Everyone is trying to sell a book,” Leaf said. “Even my old agent is trying to sell a book. When I write my book, it’s going to have the truth in it and not be salacious. Hopefully people don’t have a problem with the fact that we didn’t walk into the Indianapolis meeting room and have me stand on the table and piss on Bill Polian’s playbook or something.”

Leaf questions the timing of all these stories, which sound Hollywood ready.

“None of these stories came out until I had left the league, and I was considered a bust,” Leaf said. “Like if that was a real thing, you don’t think Jim Mora and all those guys, after making that pick of Peyton Manning, they’re not sitting there (telling people) that Ryan sabotaged this thing? 

“He was going to go to Vegas. He was going to go to Cabo to scuba dive, so there was no way we could go with him. Why do they wait five years until I’m out of the league? (It’s because) I’m an easy punching bag now. I’m a piece of sh–. Nobody is going to believe Ryan.”

Leaf again acknowledges all the issues that sprang up throughout his NFL career, but said they didn’t begin during his first offseason.

“I walked into training camp my rookie year in the best shape of my life,” Leaf said. “I won the job immediately. I was in the film room every night. (Then-quarterbacks coach) June Jones is quoted in the San Diego Union-Tribune how they couldn’t get me out of the film room, how Junior Seau had to enter the film room to get my credit card to take the defense out for dinner. That was my hazing thing because I was just named the starting quarterback.

“I was 2-0 to start my career. If I don’t respond in the way I did after that horrifying performance against Kansas City (in Week 3) – that’s the line of demarcation. There’s not a gosh darn thing, a red flag, anything, to pull up until that performance and how I acted and responded to the humiliation and embarrassment by yelling at a reporter and fighting with the media. My career was over after three games, and I’d won two of them. That’s the line of demarcation. That’s when I proceeded to f—  everything up.”

***

The co-author of Tom Moore’s book is Rick Stroud, a longtime Buccaneers beat writer in Tampa Bay.

Leaf and Stroud overlapped there in 2001, and Leaf wishes someone had called to ask his version of the events.

“I cannot believe Rick Stroud didn’t reach out to me, or the fact-checkers,” Leaf said. “That’s so odd.”

Messages sent to Stroud and the Buccaneers — Moore’s current team — asking for clarification were not returned.

I’m very proud to announce Tom Moore’s book, The Players’ Coach: From Bradshaw to Manning, Brady and beyond, which I co-wrote with him, is available on Amazon for pre-order.
He talked, I typed.
Honored to help tell coach Moore’s story. In stores Labor Day
https://t.co/qfxauTmTsc

— Rick Stroud (@NFLSTROUD) May 22, 2024

Leaf feels like the ex-Colts coaches and executives are being unfair by repeating anecdotes that he adamantly denies.

“I’m angry about it, and I’m disappointed in individuals who have been amazingly successful,” Leaf said. “But the more and more I navigate this world now post-career, and post-career for most of these men, I find that there is a real heavy narcissism that exists. It existed very much in my world, the way I behaved, where it had to be all about me. So I get it. You’re trying to sell a book, and that is just lapped up in narcissism. But there’s disappointment, frustration, and it’s sad.”

For a story like this, Leaf says, there doesn’t need to be any extra panache.

“F— these geriatrics,” Leaf said. “Are you kidding me? There’s just no reason for it… It’s an amazing story. This guy that is supposed to be just as good or better than Peyton Manning crashed and burned, while the other one went from having a miserable rookie year to becoming maybe the greatest quarterback to ever play. 

“The story is good enough as it is. For you to want to beat me up, that’s on you. That’s a you problem. And that’s the way they are projecting something. I don’t get it, and I’m not putting up with it anymore.”